Regarding the thought that it's wrong for God and Jesus to allow this great test of going through the spiritual abuse of the Watchtower; it's good to recall that Jesus warned us about a great test/tribulation
(Matt.24:4-5,8,11,13,21-23,24-25,28; Rev.19:20; 16:13-16; 1Tim.4:1).
There is so much information that Jesus and the prophets give us regarding that period of trial, but it takes time and a personal interest on our part, to learn about it all (Matt.5:6; John 6:35,63).
Jesus said to Peter;
"31 “Simon, Simon, Satan has demanded to sift all of you as wheat. 32 But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not give out. And when you have turned back (return to your faith), strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22)
In God's heavenly court, Satan has demanded that he be able to test the faithful loyalty of the anointed, even to the point of death...
(Rev.6:9-11; 12:10-11; 2Tim.1:8; Mark 8:35; Rom.6:5; 8:17-18)
...previous to their inheriting the creation away from the Devil.
After all, if the anointed become unfaithful to God, then Satan can keep his dominion... because the anointed are proven as being no better than Satan is.
What has happened, is that the test by Satan toward the anointed, has also come upon all those that are with the anointed.
Satan's dragnet/organization that he has used to take captive, deceive, and control the anointed, has also taken captive many others
(Luke 21:20; Hab.1:4NKJV; Hab.1:14-15,16-17; 2Tim.2:26NKJV; Rev.13:10; Col.2:8; 2Tim.2:26NKJV; Matt.13:47-49)
More information:
The campaign of deception that Satan has used against the anointed, is also deceiving many others.
But like the anointed who are waking up and taking a stand, others are also waking up and taking a stand
(Rom.13:11; Matt.25:5-7; Dan.12:2-4; Eph.5:14; Rev.3:2NIV; Isa.52:1; Joel 3:12; Eze.37:3-5; Rev.11:7-8,11.)
The critical part of this test upon us, is similar to the faithful man Job. Will this test cause us to "curse God and die"? (Job 2:9; 1:22; 2:3; 27:5) Or, will we turn to God for answers to this terrible experience, and be open to find and accept His answer to us? Will we seek out and feed on His mountains? Will we look to Jesus for answers?
(Eze.34:7-9,10-12,13-14; Matt.24:15-16; John 10:11-13,14-15; Rev.3:20)
>Our personal responses to these questions, is what it means to be in the Valley of Decision (Joel 3:1-2,7,14-16,17-18).
Exiles of the Watchtower who had previously made a dedication to God, are reevaluating their relationship with God after their awakening from their Watchtower captivity. As a result of their own decision regarding their relationship with God; God is then deciding His relationship with them
(Jer.29:13; 2Chron.16:9; Isa.55:6; Prov.8:17; 1Chron.28:9).
As we read in Job 1:22, Job did not ascribe evil to God. He took that righteous stance, despite not even knowing that it was the Devil who was causing his trials (James 1:13). Even while believing that the source of his troubles were from God; Job refused to betray God (Job 1:20-21,22).
Jesus gave us a parable that illuminates an attitude that stands in contrast to Job. It is well worth considering the person's attitude in Christ's parable, for the warning it affords to us.
Jesus described the kind of service that he desires from his servants...
(2Cor.5:15; Col.3:24; Matt.11:28-29,30; 20:28; John 10:14-15).
Jesus is a loving, self-sacrificing shepherd.
In the parable of Jesus, he describes one of his servant's attitude at the time of Christ's return. Rather than knowing the loving nature of Jesus, that lazy slave answers Jesus...
"24 “Then he who had received the one talent came and said, ‘Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sown, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 And I was afraid, and went and hid your talent in the ground. Look, there you have what is yours.’ " (Matt.25).
-- This slave has the wrong impression of Christ's nature.
Where did this foolish servant get this impression of Jesus as a threatening, harsh master?
Who is the servant confusing Jesus with?
Who really is the "hard man" that invokes fear, who the servant has mistaken for Jesus?
Who is the master that the servant actually has above him, who is harsh and demanding?
Who is the leader that takes for himself, all the benefits that were gained through the hard work of others beneath them (Matt.25:24)(James 5:4; Micah 2:1-2)
Jesus indicates who the harsh master is, who is causing fear in Christ's anointed household and those with them.
Jesus exposes that brute, within his parable of the steward of Christ's household (Luke 12:42-43,44-45,46).
Take note of the unfaithful option open to the ruler* of Christ's household (Luke 12:42NKJV*), at Luke 12:45...
"45 But if that servant says in his heart, ‘My master is delaying his coming,’ and starts to beat the male and female servants, and to eat and drink and get drunk".
(Prov.26:9; Isa.29:9; 28:7,14,17,19)
Under such a ruler, there is no true spiritual sustenance, no mercy, no justice.
What do we learn from these two parables (Matt.25:24-25; Luke 12:45)?
We learn from Christ's parable that we must be very careful, not to confuse the wicked leaders we have had above us, with our true master. It is not wise to ascribe the sins of men, to our Lord.
Many blame God for the spiritual abuse they have suffered under the governing leaders of the Watchtower, along with the army of elders who are being directed by those leaders.
Like the lazy slave; many who have been abused, blend together and confuse the two masters. Assigning the evil of the unfaithful steward onto Christ, is error. As we learned, that confusion ends badly for the one who blames Christ for the wicked steward's behavior (Matt.25:26,30).
--As you state in your original comment above;
"I’ve been beaten down for so long, it’s hard not to blame God and Jesus for allowing me to be mislead all these years. I feel betrayed and I’m angry."
Try to remember clearly... who it was who "beat you down" (Luke 12:45). It was the leaders of the Watchtower and their elder army.
You certainly have a right to feel hurt and angry for the spiritual abuse, 'beatings', exploitation, hypocrisy, lack of mercy, injustices, misdirection, and harsh demands of the wicked steward.
Yet hopefully at this point, you can avoid the error of the lazy slave of Matt.25:24.
At Job.1:22, despite all the agony and trials to befall Job while in the hands of Satan; Job never ascribed anything evil to God (James 1:13). After proving his integrity; Job was richly rewarded by God for his faithful loyalty (James 5:11). That result stands in stark contrast to the outcome of the lazy servant (1Pet.3:17; 5:10).
All of our past experiences and circumstances while captive in the Watchtower, was prophesied. The more our spiritual circumstances come into focus, the more we can perceive what's really going on, and what we should do about it.
--I am here to help you with that, and anyone else who asks. Jesus said to "keep on asking, knocking, seeking" (Matt.7:7-9,10-11).
For those who do, it will be given.
*[Regarding your other comment... that of not knowing God's name, perhaps these links will be helpful:
